Arasiyal - contd...

As a continuation to the NAP-NAK discussion, i wanted to share the below mail. The context is that two of my NAK friends are apprehensive about getting married to a NAP, thinking that their life would be caught between adherence of strict rituals and the demands of the moden world.
I happend to know of their apprehension, and conveyed them that, their being carefree today, doesnt make them out of sync of marrying a NAP. And told them, after marriage, they would infact tend to be adhereing to those traditional practices more than their men. [of course, it is an observation which is made based on my little expereince, hence there will be exceptions.]

Ennala mudinjadhu, rendu NAKs oda NAPphobia va pokkaradhuku chinna muyarchi.. :P
Read from the bottom.

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Good..

I remember to have talked to u about, not providing enuf fundamentals to NAKs. Our way of life is prescribed assuming that NAKs are at home, so the idea of imparting values and subjecting them to a system early in life,have not been given appropriate attention. [like for boys, we have upanayanam(poonal), brahmacharyam, sandhyavandham.... Et al. That is, anytime if a guys goes weird in life, and later wants to return, he can fall back to his fundamentals,].

So it is time that we tailor our parenting strategies to impart enuf values and spiritual thots both into boys and gals alike, after all, tomorrow they are going to meet the world almost the same way.

Now coming to your apprehensions, they are true only to a very small extent. It is the fear factor that is blowing things out of proportion in your minds.

What I am trying to convey is, what you are now, and what u will be five years after marriage, will be completely different, and take my word, most of u will be the pivots around whom the whole spirituality and value building of the family will revolve.

The convictions to substantiate are..[of course there are obvious exceptions.]
1. Most families today are jus the man and wife, and with very less parental intervention.
2. Most guys today are very adjusting and practical, mind u.. even the guy who says I am conservative, doesn't impose it on his wife.
3. In the world where both the partners work alike, the only thing that is expected early in the marriage is love and sincerity, not madisaar kattindu samaikaradhu.. ;)
4. Guys have turned out to be astonishingly sacrificial, driving a sense of reciprocation among the so called "broadminded" and "modern" girls around.
5. With the responsibilities of the family descending on the girls, most of them tend to adapt and lead THE life, this may not be "kulichuttu, madisar kattinduthan samayal panannradhu " daily, but understanding and appreciating that doing it is the proper way of living, and raising to special occasions and enjoying doing it.

Take my word..
If u have got good fundamentals, then u r going to reflect it later in ur life, irrespective of how u r today.
Let me rephrase, you will be a Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V, of your mom with 'Find and Replace' of the corresponding time parameters to point to 2-3 decades later.


-----Original Message-----
From:
Sent: Monday, May 31, 2004 5:12 PM
To:
Subject: RE: hi


u r correct..
but theres no way out .. u have to choose among the available..
orthovo.. ennavo.. poi than adjust pannikanum..
naan kovil pakkame poga mattenn.. athala vilakku kooda etha mattenn.. ( seyanum nu thonathu)
ennakku bayangara orthovo vandhu amaya porathu..
kulichuttu, madisar kattinduthan samayal panannumnu sonna enna panrathu..


-----Original Message-----
From:
Sent: Monday, May 31, 2004 5:09 PM
To:
Subject: RE: hi

2 weeks back oru group vanndanga, some ortho gumbal ..payan kitta sonen, me not ortho types nu, he said, am more ortho than modern :) . and avanga paakave some tradi yaa irundaanga..no way i'd suit them.so mutual No.
namba konjam ulagata paathutom ..adaan expectations jaasti ya irukku..we want some body broadminded...and not the narrow thinking conservative iyengar gumbal.wht say? :)
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